Look for the sand art

Music: Piazza, New York Catcher by Belle & Sebastian from the Juno soundtrack

I totally spaced out on stage today and almost missed an entrance!  Not good.  I’ll have to try and get more sleep tomorrow.  Which of course is not going to be easy… again.  One of the struggles of working nights is that I should be sleeping through the period of the day that other people are getting things done.  So if I need to get stuff done with other people… say goodbye to my sleeping time.

I decided to get breakfast at the County Seat this morning.  It’s pretty sweet to be able to have a good, filling meal for just over $6 including a 40% tip.  And they have wifi. 🙂

I slept till about 4:30 and did a little work around the house.  We’re hosting a party tomorrow night and the house was a disaster.  I even resorted to taking a load of dishes to the new house to run them through the dishwasher.  I figure they have to end up there at some point.  Then I meet Rachel, one of the girls in the show with me, there to finish painting the office.  Dining room and office done, bedroom and kitchen cabinets to go.  Mike discovered a bunch of old crates in the basement that I think we’re going to turn into a bookshelf.  Then it was back home to change and get ready for rehearsal… I had just enough time after to shower all the makeup and hair glue off myself before work.

I think I can get one more episode in before I have to start passing meds.  Here’s something super cool that I was reminded of today.  Enjoy.

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more posting from work

Music:  Beer by Reel Big Fish

Not sure why I didn’t think of writing blog posts during my overnights before.  Brilliant!  So you may be hearing from me more often.

Humm… what to say about today.  I’m in a really good mood.  That’s kind of weird because a)  I haven’t been particularly chipper lately b)  when I’m working these days I have way too much thinking time on my hands, and that leads to big “meaning of life” thoughts… and recently that just hasn’t been a very happy road.  Not sure why that’s changing.  Maybe because I’m not watching as much tv and I actually feel like I’m doing things with my day other than work, sleep and veg.

Granted I didn’t get THAT much done today.  I got up and got to the house just in time to meet the delivery guys with our new fridge.  It took them awhile to install it, so I read “Atonement” on our porch swing.  I discovered that you can hear the marching band practicing pretty clearly.  I’m not sure why, but it makes me feel all homey and small townish.  Then I got a few groceries and kitty litter.  Had dinner with Mike and went to rehearsal.

Rehearsal went pretty well.  Last night my energy was great, but I lacked focus.  Tonight I was really focused, but lacked energy.  Hopefully I find a good in between for tomorrow and Friday.

I’m really excited about this weekend.  It’s the first one in a while that I haven’t had to work most of if not all of.  And there’s a party Friday night and Masqurade on Saturday.  I’ve been a bit less social (for me) lately and I’m ready to let loose and have a little fun.

Speaking of, tonight at the spring was fun.  I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this in the blog yet, but I got to karaoke pretty much every Wed.  And tonight the karaoke laptop died after one round, but lots of cool people were there, both regular karaoke attendees, and a few first timers.  I had some good conversations, got to joke around with some people, and generally enjoyed myself.  I was also told by one of my guy friends that I fit better in my skin than anyone else he’s known… like a fitted shirt.  He was a little drunk 😛

I’m also really excited about the relief sale in a couple weekends.  Not only will there be good food and fun stuff to see, but all the Evanston girls will be in town and I’m super excited to see them.  AND Andre’, Dancy, and Rachel will be here from Cali for a couple days!  It’ll be crazy busy fun.  Ha, and we’ll probably end up being able to finally move in about then too.  Finger’s crossed.

So my current plan is to start a massage therapy program in January.  I realized today that I should probably finish my undergrad degree if I’m going to do that… yeah… I know… I’m pathetic…

Back to Veronica Mars.  I just started it tonight, and I think I figured out in the third episode who I think the killer in the overarching case is.  So far I’m really liking it.

Got something to say

Music:  Wash Away by Joe Purdy

It’s been an interesting week so far.  Nothing particularly dramatic has happened, but I’ve been working on the house more, painting mostly, but also dreaming up all the little changes I’d like to make.  Being in the house and working on it has made me calmer.  I’m always better when I’m doing rather than waiting.  I’ve had fun picking out paint colors.  The dining room is now a deep merlot, the office has it’s first coat of peach, and three of the bedroom walls are taped in prep for a nice minty green.  Last night was my night off and to keep myself up I painted.  Around 5:30 I was getting tired and sick of taping so I walked down to 7-11 for an Arizona green tea (my latest addiction).  It’s refreshing to live in a neighborhood that I want to walk around.

Unfortunately, being in the house is also making me even more anxious to move.  I want to start setting up house!  I want to feel settled in one place instead of this damn in between.  It’s amazing to me that I’m going to move into this house that can truly feel like a home instead of just a place I’m going to live for a little while.  I’ve bounced around so much.  Goshen is starting to feel like a place where I belong, and this is going to be a big part of that process.

Mike and I installed our dishwasher today.  It was intimidating, but with some advice from the guy at Ace, we were able to do it on our own.  Thankfully La Casa had already done the electric.  I think that would have been the scariest part, but still, we were doing all sorts of fun plumbing stuff.  We didn’t have a hack saw, so I cut the piping down to size with a regular wood saw 😛  Mike and I haven’t had as much time to spend together lately.  We’re on completely opposite schedules, and it was nice to just spend a day running errands and doing lifey stuff together.

I’m in my friend Angie’s senior show this Friday.  It’s been really great being on stage again.  I haven’t had a chance to act in a while and I’m really enjoying it.  We did makeup for the first time tonight and we look like scary, crying, clowns with chains.  It’s great!

It’s been weird/interesting to be on campus and around students.  They talk about how overwhelmed and busy they are and I realize that I’m not there anymore and I’m really grateful for that, but I wouldn’t say that I’m any less stressed out or anxious.  I still worry just as much, maybe more.  I don’t know that I’m any happier being less busy.  I just have new worries.  It’s not so much that I want to go back, I just wish that I’d learned in the last few years how to be more content with what I am, what I have, and what I do.  Why is that so hard?

Well, until the next time I’m inspired, au revoir.

I’ll leave you with this lovely tidbit of info:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/14/when-getting-beaten-by-yo_n_286029.html

More Random Things from my life.

Watching: True Blood

I’ve been getting to know several people recently that will or mostly will be moving away in the next few months… it sucks.  But savoring it while it lasts is what I’m trying to do.

Work is getting better, sortof.  I hate getting up early, but my client and I are developing a repport.

I’m trying really really REALLY hard not to be anxious about moving… but anyone who knows me knows that I don’t do uncertainty.  We don’t know when we’ll be moving.  And the work on the house hasn’t started yet… so who knows.  I’ve been anxious the last week or so, and I think that’s alot of the reason why.

Taming is over.  over over over over overoveroverover!  I had a very mixed experience.  There were somethings I really enjoyed about being stage manager, but my insecurities made it hard to fully enjoy it, and it was a bit too big of a role to get my feet wet in.  But as far as I know I did a good enough job, so I’ll leave it at that.

Speaking of theater.  I’m aditioning again for House of Yes.  I’ve been torn about whether or not I should put myself up to be in this show.  There are alot of reasons why it would be best if I didn’t… we’ll probably be moving when things are really busy with the show… I just did a show… work is stressful… etc.  But I think I’d always regret not trying to be in it.

That’s probably enough baring of my soul for one night.

Stuff

Andre’ and Dancy are having another baby in March.

I was reminded recently that I really want to go on a hot ballon ride.

I need to stop mopping around the house watching tv when I have days off.

Pain

There’s nothing like a back injury to remind you how easily your body can break down.  On Thursday one of my thoracic vertebra slipped out of place.  It put enough pressure on my spinal nerves to cause numbness in my limbs, nausea, and difficulty focusing.  My dad (a doctor) was able to readjust it back into place, but it slipped out again in a couple hours and my dad had to adjust it again.  The pain in my back the last couple days has increased during the day from moderate to severe.  It’s hard to want to to do anything, and there’s so much I find I can’t do, or have difficulty doing.  I have to sleep on my back which is something I would normally never do so I’m not sleeping well either.

It’s been a wake up call that I need to address my back health issues.  I’ve had lumbar slips before that are painful and frustrating, but nothing like this.  My dad repeatedly tells me to exercise my back so that the muscles are strong enough to keep my spine in place, but I haven’t taken the time.  That needs to change.

I have call backs today for Taming.  The audition yesterday was my worst audition ever, so hopefully I can redeem myself today.

sigh

I actually did try to post yesterday, only to discover today that it didn’t actually go through.  sad.  I will find the energy again soon.

For security purposes

Some of the names on my blogs will be changing.  I am Stephanie, always will be Stephanie, and can’t seem to bring myself to rename myself.  Also, for those who are aware of my blog and are named, I’m not giving them aliases either, but if you would prefer me not to use your real name, just let me know.   That’s all.

Dreamgirls

Today Becca, Abby and I went to see “Dreamgirls” after a scrumptious lunch at Cozy Noodle. It was amazing (the movie and the lunch, but mostly the movie). I don’t cry during movies, I just don’t. I might tear up a little, but I don’t actually cry. I cried. Through the whole last 15 minutes. There’s something about music, especially good musical theater that just moves me. I can’t explain it, but I’m more likely to tear up over a good emotional song than a tear-jerker movie. Sometimes, I wish that I had the drive and the talent to make it on broadway. How cool would that be. To be able to move and inspire people through song. That would be amazing. There are times when I really miss singing to an audience. There’s an energy I get when I know that I’ve connected with people and they’ve taken something away from a performance, even if that’s just a moment of happiness. To see people’s faces light up because of you! Now that may be the hight of narcissism (I thought this wikipedia entry was interesting), but it’s amazing.

I went to a salsa dancing lesson last night! It was at this little boutique near us, and there weren’t alot of people there, but it was still a blast. I think I’ll go again. I miss dancing so much when I’m not doing it on a regular basis. I got to show the store owner’s son the basics. He’s a junior at a school in southern Cali, and it was SO refreshing to talk to someone my own age (or close enough) that I don’t know. We’re finding it hard to connect with people from our peer group, which is frustrating, but tomorrow we’re inviting a few people from church home for lunch. Night ya’ll.

Engagements

Music: Cleveland by Rachel Ries

Last night two proposals were made! On Gray’s Anatomy 🙂 Ok, but seriously (I think it was last night) one of my friends that I worked with last summer at the Bluegill got engaged. I’m really excited for her. I remember talking to her about her boyfriend, and about Mike. How far our relationships have both come since then! It dawned on my recently that Mike and I have been dating almost as long as Jesse and I had been before we were engaged. Scary to think of it in those terms, because I wouldn’t be ready to be engaged to Mike at this point, and I think our relationship has gone better and has been healthier than mine with Jesse (I should hope so anyways). It probably has alot to do with me being a wiser, less impulsive person. Last night I was complaining to Abby about the fact that whenever I talk about the future and it involves Mike I always include the clause “if we’re still together”. Like somehow I have to reassure people that I don’t assume that we will be. That I don’t want people to think I’m making the same mistake twice. I even do it with my close friends who know better. Or like last night, Mike told me about his Senior Sem. class. They were split up into groups to talk about “what I’m thinking about doing after graduation”. And Mike mentioned that he might be planning a wedding. One of the guys was like “wow, I didn’t realize you guys were that serious”. And I couldn’t help but think “I hope they’re not thinking, ‘O, boy here she goes again'” I know people wouldn’t think that way, or if they did than they don’t really know me at all, so why should I care, but I do! And of course it comes back to that whole thing where we think people think/know about us more than they really do. Humans are so naturally egotistical. I’ve really been trying to let go of that tendency. Mike doesn’t seem to have it at all which I admire. I wish I didn’t care what other people thought so much. It certainly would simplify life.