First of all I want to say it’s really hard to be satisfied with these answers because the questions were so amazing and thought provoking! Thankyou so much for the challenge Mel.
1. In answer to Flutter’s question about the most important thing about you, you replied, “when I was 9 my parents and I moved to Zambia.” Wow! What are some of your best or most vivid memories of that time and place?
There are so many! Like the time that my dad killed a spitting cobra that almost attacked my mom by throwing a hammer at it and hitting it in the head. Or the way the world looks at night when there’s no artificial light for kilometers and kilometers in all directions. Or going swimming on horseback and learning to jump at the tiny British expatriate school that I attended for a few months. Or the first time I saw the mist and heard the roar of Victoria Falls. Or being charged by a rino when my dad drove too close. Or when a couple of my friends were almost run over by a runaway ox and cart at the little play set by my house. Or my mom crying because we were told by the mission board back home that we had to leave the country in two weeks (this was later retracted, but we had originally planed to stay for 3 years and only stayed for 2) Some time I should do a series of stories from those two years. That would be good blogging fodder.
2. In your post to the person who found you through the broken engagement search, you said this: “I had to relearn to value myself as an individual,” and you also said this: “I made strong commitments to myself about maintaining my self worth and independence.” How do you feel you are doing with these self-affirming actions these days? Has a new relationship posed any challenges for you in still making sure to meet those goals for yourself?
It’s a daily struggle. I think these are areas that will take continued growth and attention for the rest of my life. But I’ve made huge strides. Granted I had a long way to travel to even reach a healthy place, but it feels good to be able to look back and see how far I’ve come. It’s not really something you can quantify, but I value and like myself much more than I used to.
Dating Mike has been a struggle in a lot of ways. I have to fight the urge to rely on him for my self worth. I have to fight the urge to plan my life around him. Luckily, he doesn’t allow me to depend on him too much, and he has a way of being supportive while encouraging me to be the strongest person I can. It’s hard road though because it’s a fight against my natural inclinations.
3. As a nanny, what’s the most important goal (besides “keep the child alive”)that you keep in mind, both at the start of each day and at the start of each new job?
That’s such a hard question for me because I’m a novice nanny. I feel like I’ve been through a trial by fire the past 10 months. I’ve had two different jobs with very different situations. Nothing in my past or education has given me the insight or preparation for this career. So until now I haven’t really had the luxury of having clear goals at the start of a job. I’m still a little wet behind the ears, but now I would say the goal with each child is to guide them in becoming independent, joyful, articulate, socially and emotionally mature people. To provide them with the challenges that will help them to grow at a leave where they are able to succeed. This of course is easier said than done. Just because a child has the capabilities necessary to tie their shoes doesn’t mean that they have the focus to complete the task or that it’s going to be easy for you to have the patience to wait for them to complete it. It’s also my goal to find ways to make the family’s life easier. Oh, and to give the kids as much love as possible. That’s the easy part.
Day to day I try and keep them on a schedule of sorts. It’s hard with babies, but everyone’s happier if there’s structure to the day. I try to take them out every day, weather permitting. I try and think of new things the girls can learn, whether that’s how to put the blocks in the bucket or how to not chew on books.
4. Just in the posts I’ve browsed, you mention singing, dancing, salsa lessons, “wheel throwing lessons,” whatever those are, fiddle lessons… do you think you will be a perennial student? In other words, do you agree with the notion that a person should continue to learn something new throughout their lives? Do you plan on doing so?
I definitely think I’ll be a student most of my life. There are so many things I want to learn and be able to do. I love the creative outlet of art, music and dance classes. If I had more money and more energy I’d be involved in a lot more classes. I am hoping to do some “wheel throwing lessons” this summer. Wheel throwing is a part of ceramics and is how most hand made pottery is formed.
5. You said last summer, “I just want to feel like something I do really touches someone.” This isn’t a question, it’s a statement: I have really enjoyed reading your blog; it has touched me. While our lifepaths are not extremely similar, I can hear echoes of my own heart from before I settled into the life I have now in your words. I do hope you keep going; your honesty and freshness are very neat to read.
Lady In Green 