Bruderhof

Music: I Hope I Get It from a Chorus Line

So I just discovered that the site that I’ve been getting the daily thoughts from is THE Bruderhof, like the communal living communities in New York, Germany etc. The ones that Abby’s been talking about. How random is that. And I got to their website really randomly by searching under “quotes” and didn’t even bother to look at the site really. I just figured it was some christan right organization. So I was suprised when I started getting messages that were very meaningful about sustainable living, peace, etc. Wow, funny how these things work. Here was a comment I posted on the full article that I took an exerpt from in my last blog. Here’s the where you can see the full article. http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/Abortion-and-War.htm I was especially affected by the story of the driver who’s daughter aborted during a bombing raid. Regardless of how you feel about abortion, how can you ignore this? I just don’t understand.

I was greatly moved by this article. The thoughts presented in it were ones that I’ve been mulling over recently because of my close contact with people who seem to follow two different standards. They support the war, but are against abortion. Abortion is one of the key issues in the current election for a few people I know. What do I say to them? I think my biggest struggle is that there doesn’t seem any way to have meaningful conversation. These people are my friends and family. I love them. But when it comes to the war, we can’t understand what the other person is saying. I can’t understand their arguments for the war, because it seems so very clear to me that violence begets violence. Yet they cannot see an alternative. We need alternatives, ones that I or you or anyone can understand, at least the philosophy behind them. If these alternatives are out there, than we need to be shouting them from the rooftops. Please.

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catching up with my blog

music: Only Hope from A Walk to Remember

Yeah, it’s been a while. sigh, what to say. Today I didn’t do much, but yesterday I had some interesting experiences. I shadowed Myron on an interpretation. There were several aspects of it that made it extremely interesting. I’d talk about it, but it’s that whole confidentiality thing, especially this one. I also talked to Myron alot on the way there and back. I mentioned the fact that I have a hard time with speed in interpreting using ASL. He agreed with me and said that I would just have to decide what I wanted and what I was willing to give to be an interpreter. He mentioned that there are other options for using ASL in a occupation.

Another interesting thing was that Becca and I had iniciated the revival of a childhood tradition of Assembly’s that had fallen by the wayside. We both have very fond memories of the lantern festival from when we were little children. David also remembers it fondly, but it was already discontinued by the time Abby and Zeb came along. We made lanterns out of tin cans by punching holes in the side in patterns and then sticking a candle in the bottom. Then we went around the neighborhood to houses where we know people and sang carols about light. Ummm…. it was wonderful, but a bunch of little kids running around can be a bit never wracking. There’s one really cute song about a jack-o-lantern that I particularly love. It was interesting to see that although I had not sung many of the songs since I was very young, I remembered them very well, even some of the words. Singing has been such an important part of my life.

Today…. well, I haven’t been very productive, but Abby, Jess, Becca and I took Libby out for her 20th birthday. We went and hung out at Steak and Shake and just generally had a hysterical delicious time. 🙂

Too much love?

music: Saucy Sailor by the Wailin’ Jennys

I’ve gotten some interesting responses to the “Can you love someone too much” question. If you want to check them out, see the comments under my sept 24th blog. I think both Katie and Sol have very valid points and I have to admit that I asked the question with an answer already rolling around in my head (surprisingly similar to my responses) but I wanted to see what people had to say about it. Actually the first time I asked it was in response to a pretty pessimistic mood, but then I reasked it because I wondered what people would actually say. I especially like what Sol said about loving your neighbor as yourself and how loving yourself is part of that, finding a balance. If you don’t take care of yourself, how can you help others. If you give and give and give so much that you are depleted, what good are you? It’s something that kind of hit me this summer. When I mentioned it to Jen’s dad, he talked about how we have a built in tendency for self care, and that with that mind set it would be easy to slip into selfishness, and I think that’s very true. But I think there’s a difference between selfishly loving yourself and allowing your ego, fears, desires, and/or instincts rule your decisions, and really loving yourself, like God does. In a smart, sometimes painful way. Sometimes God’s love hurts because it’s so backwards from what we are doing.

Today some very wonderful things have happened. Going to church was one of them, and catching (big huge smile for a phone call I just got!!!! 😉 [I have to interrupt this blog for two seconds and say that I’m dating a wonderful young man, if he can deal with me when my hormones are off balance, he can deal with anything 🙂 ] ok, back to my day…..catching up with Mary my mentor, lunch with a couple from my church, a nice nap, some good girl time, a fun new game from Senegal, having a good catchup/ talk about faith session with Jen, and learning to pronounce the French in the new aria I’m working on. Umm…..and I actually got some homework done! It’s been a GOOD day! Sleep well everyone. Goodnight beautiful world.

The weekend and why women can’t talk about cramps (Stephanie getting on her soap box)

music: Elegy ~ Songs Without Words No. 40 performed by Jennifer W.
Yesterday was horrible! Why? because pain and I were on a first name basis all day long. Now when people encountered me it was very obvious that I was not alright, and when asked what was wrong there were times when I was at a loss as to how to respond. This is a common plight of mine (almost monthly). Why is it that I not only have to physically suffer because of my bodies makeup, but am put in socially uncomfortable situations. Why is a women’s cycle and the problems that go with such a taboo topic? Does anyone else see anything wrong with this? It’s not that I want to go out and announce it to everyone, but when I’m in so much pain I can’t hide it ( I have a very high pain threshold so that is significant) I hate the fact that I have to mince words. Of course with my girlfriends all I have to do is put my hand on my abdomen and grimace, but still. Ok, I’m done. One last thing… why was I not able to bring myself to actually say what I’m talking about?

I’m so excited about this weekend. Lots of fun things going on. Latin dance tonight, MCC relief sale tomorrow, Kick-off tomorrow night, and lunch with a family from Assembly on Sunday. Yippee 🙂

Terms you may not know:

Jennifer- my best friend from Oregon

MCC- Mennonite Central committee, they do alot of work overseas

relief sale- yearly action/ gathering where hundreds (thousands?) of Mennonites from the area come to spend money and time together. All proceeds go to MCC specifically for overseas missions I think

Kick-off- a big talent show at the beginning of each semester, one of the biggest student life events on campus

Assembly- Assembly Mennonite Church, my local church community

Service etc.

Today Goshen’s classes were cancelled so that the students could go out into the community and do service work. I worked at a site were a clinic is being built to serve people who don’t have health insurance. I moved gravel and heavy blocks and swept. But then we were treated to San Marcos….so it was all good. I also had my first experience golfing. Jesse’s roommate Aaron plays for the college team and he took Jesse, Tanya (his girlfriend) and I to the three holes on campus. It was fun, but I was pretty bad. Have I mentioned that my boyfriend is a really good dancer? 😀 And then I went to small group……..it’s been a pretty decent day overall. I was blessed with encouraging messages from friends. Thankyou, you know who you are 🙂

I’m still interested in any input to my question “can you love someone too much” Ok, I’m off to play risk. Aaron feels that he needs to redeem himself after a crushing defeat two nights ago 😉

Xanga

Sunday, September 05, 2004

Random thoughts after reading away messages/ Katie’s blog

I want to learn French!

I completely understand Katie! I have the same problem with curves. None of my jeans fit me

in the waist…… and I really don’t care for wearing belts….sigh

Anyone who had Andrew’s screen name, check out his profile. Very interesting. It’s a letter from Abraham Lincoln to a woman who lost 5 sons in the war. I’m pretty sure it was after this (possibly another similar case later on) that they made a rule that only a certain number of males in a single family can be sent into combat.

Last night, Abby, Jess, Becca, Chrissy and I had girl time complete with good tea, back massages and tears over a guy….. it was really good to be back with a group of girls relating to one another. There’s something amazing it. It can be very cleansing to the soul. Seeing weakness and strength in one another I think allows us to come to grips with our own weakness, but realize that there is strength in us as well. God has blessed me with some amazing women friends…..and a large spectrum of friends in general.

I was also very productive yesterday which felt really good. I still have alot to do, but I’m very encouraged. O, and my personal essay is done and I have three people editing it. This truelly is a big step for me. Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully I can continue this trend. Balance is not easy!

Saturday, September 04, 2004

This week has been so intense. Going from this summer when I really wasn’t doing much, to having a bursting schedule was really mentally and emotionally taxing. I’m definitely glad it’s the weekend. But now the homework! I have to finish a rough draft of a personal essay today among many other things. Maybe I’ll post the essay when I’m done. I think I will.

Last night there was a Luau. It was ok, but the music kind of sucked. Dressing up was fun though, I love getting spruced up with all my friends I had my first voice lesson yesterday. I’m going to do NATS (National Association of Teachers of Singers). It’s a region wide vocal competition and I’m going to be competing in the musical theater division. I need an up-tempo piece. Anyone have any good ideas? Alright, I’ve procrastinated long enough. Time for the homework.
Currently Playing Ladysmith Black Mambazo

Friday, September 03, 2004

It’s amazing how much interpersonal stuff goes on in a college setting, being away from it this summer really brought it into the forfront now that I’m back. There are so many little things. I’m glad people feel comfortable coming to me, and that there are people I feel comfortable going to. That is one of my biggest blessings. Thankyou to all who act as supports in my life.

Currently Playing Alanis Morissette Uninvited

I love quotes, so there will probably be quotes randomly popping up in posts every now and then. I’m the last person on my buddy list still up….. I’m vaguely proud of this. Night all. Tonight’s is:

“I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better.” ~G. C. Lichtenberg

Currently Playing Solace By Sarah McLachlan I really don’t know the exact cd, but the song’s The Prayer of Saint Francis- probably my favorite of hers

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Errrr….. I don’t like Literacy! I feel pretty lost in class and I haven’t had a chance to do the readings because the bookstore ran out of books. I’ve done some of it by borrowing books, but with how long it took me to track some down, I didn’t have time to do all the reading. This is an upper level Ed class and I haven’t taken any Ed classes yet, so there’s concepts and terminology that the other students understand and I don’t. Besides the fact that quite a bit of the focus in the class is irrelevent information for me to have And I was really cold in class which made me more sleepy and my body tried to sort of shut it’s self down to keep warm…..so I was definitely falling asleep in class Already! I hate that we’ve barely gotten started on classes and I’m already feeling like I’m barely holding on.

In other news, the dance class last night was great and I’ve convinced Jesse to go with me Which is really exciting for this little dance fanatic. Small group was nice last night. It was only part of the group and it was all women and we just enjoyed chatting together. I like getting together with a mixed generation group like that. The construction here at the college is almost done 🙂 I can’t wait till they open the west enterance to the connector so that I can get to my classes faster. And I’m looking forward to the machinary etc to be gone. It’s pretty ugly right now. I’m looking forward to a nice long nap after my 2 o’clock I’ve worked almost 23 hours this week!!!!!!!

Currently Playing Billy Holiday Gloomy Sunday

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Thursday, August 26, 2004

Well, Interpretation’s going to keep me really really busy! But I’m excited about it too. It’s just so nerve racking when you’re supposed to be interpreting something and you can’t understand one sign and it throws you completely off! Grrrr….

Currently Playing Love Scenes By Diana Krall

First day of work at the coffee shop tonight. Definitely have some bugs to work out, but nothing serious. It was pretty slow, but that was probably because it was 11-12. We didn’t get done cleaning up till 1. And then I was locked off my floor because I forgot to take my keys so I sat around waiting for security and read the Inferno. I read the chapter about the souls of the Carnal- basically those who’s sins were those of sexual passion. Very interesting chapter. I was kind of expecting more out of the book as far as talking about why certain things were sinful. I can’t say that I agree much with his theology. I can’t imagine people left out of Heaven just because they died before God sent Jesus. I really like the image of God as a woman, not that I think God has a gender (which is exactly the point) but if I had to chose one gender I like female. Probably partly because I’m one, but also because of the mothering instinct and because women are just such beautiful creatures. Ok, yes I’m being really random right now, but that’s because it’s 2:30 in the morning. Ugggg…. This is a big problem with me, staying up way too late. I just function better at night. Small group was good tonight. I really enjoy getting together with a group that’s so mixed as far as ages. We have a couple and a single woman who are in their 60’s, a couple in their early 50’s….maybe late 40’s, a single guy mid-30’s, and a couple late 20’s. Well, my conversation with Joel is wrapping up…..it’s now 2:40….so I think I’m going to end this. Good night, pleasant dreams, bien noche.

Currently Playing Mclachlin~ Dear God

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

The Hands of Believers

With hand on head we bless,

With hand on foot we serve.

With hands and arms around each other we comfort,

With hand on shoulder we pray to our living Savior.

With hand held open we offer peace to a broken world.

With hand in hand we join together as one body.

With hands lifted high we praise our God.

In this way, the blessings of Christ

Flow through our community.

~Stephanie Anne H********

Currently Playing Nickel Creek

Xanga

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Good morning

I got to go to Assembly this morning And next week is a hymn sing! Yippeee! Today I’m going to finally finish my room…………so I’m going to get off the computer and do it

Currently Playing Moulin Rouge

Today has been a good day It was so nice outside. I never got to my voice practicing, but I did practice my violin a bit. And I got to hear Jesse play trumpet. I worked the coffee bar for an hour tonight. And then I did a walmart run with Erini. We’ve been spending quite a bit of time together recently and I’ve enjoyed getting to know her better. Walmart was completely out of sticky tack! I’ve been getting ALOT of compliments on my room and it feel really good. I’m a little embarrased by it, but it’s just really nice to know that people appriciate the athetics of it. I thought about it quite a bit this summer I love setting up new spaces to live in. I love making places my own. The rest of Goshen moves in tomorrow! I can’t wait to have everyone back. Sigh….. classes start soon and now that it’s almost upon us I’m not feeling ready. I’m kind of wondering where Luke is, I should just call him, but I keep putting it off thinking he’ll show up on campus. I keep telling myself I’m going to go to bed earlier, but it’s just not happening.

Quote of the day: Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life. ~John Homer Miller

Goodnight everyone! May life be kind to you as you walk forward, toward the light.

Currently Playing Into the Woods (2002 Broadway Revival Cast) By Stephen Sondheim, Vanessa Williams, John McMartinsee