Stream of consciousness

28 03 2010

I should preface this post with a disclaimer least anyone think I’ve turned suicidal.  I’m actually not in a bad mood.  Just contemplative.

Do you ever feel like you’re just going through life spinning you’re wheels.

I want to do so many things with myself.  I want to be so many things.  I’ll make some small strides in the right direction and then I’ll have a bad day when I’m selfish and insecure and lazy and I start to wonder if there’s any hope.  I wonder sometimes about the adults I admire.  Do they have hidden vises that I’m not aware of?  Sometimes I wish there was a way for us to know people.  Really know them.  The good the bad.  Intentions and all.  But then sometimes I think that we’ve become too transparent as a society.  How many times have I excused myself because “so-in-so” would, did, could do the same thing?

Who knows.  But maybe the first step to becoming that person I want to be is to go to bed, get a good night’s sleep and get up in the morning ready to have a kind, gentle, non-judgmental, giving, confident, and productive day.

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