[insert calming phrase here]

22 09 2009

Music:  Without You by the Dixie Chicks

I’m feeling oddly anxious today.  One of those “impending doom” sort of feelings.  Not exactly sure what’s causing it.  Whatever it is, I can’t explain it away, and I’m getting tired of it.  I have been prone to mild unexplainable panic attacks, and these feel a bit like that, but not as intense, and they last longer.  Maybe it’s because I didn’t sleep enough today.  I putzed on the computer and watched Veronica Mars till almost noon.

Had dinner with Rachel tonight and she helped me with more painting.  Honestly, that’s about all I did.  We don’t have hot water right now so I had to go over to my mom’s for a shower and we chatted for a while… and it was actually really nice… except for the part where she refused to part with a painting my brother did that I’ve wanted from her for years 😛  I think that’s a losing battle.  But it would look so great in our new office!  Sigh.

I’ve been blitzing through season two of Veronica Mars.  I watched a couple episodes and then napped before work.

Getting to know new people is hard.  You’re not quite sure where you stand with them.  Do they really enjoy your company?  Was it just a good first impression that’s fading now that they’re getting to know you better?  I think I’ve mentioned the fact that I’ve struggled to cultivate any strong female friendships since moving back to Goshen.  I connect with a couple girls that I am comfortable with, but our lack of proximity and busy schedules don’t allow us to see each other very often.  I’ve meet and become friends with a lot of amazing women, but nothings exactly clicked yet.  I think I might be more self conscious with women.  Hum.  Something to think about.

Here’s hoping the pit in my stomach closes up soon.  I don’t like it when my emotions and thoughts won’t settle.

Humm… I’ve been ending all my posts with a video clip recently.  I think I like that trend.  Last night I mentioned Barbara Padilla… here’s the performance that inspired me the most… one of my favorite songs and she performs it beautifully.

Sorry for the commercials, but the better quality on hulu is worth it.





One response

22 09 2009

I know what you mean about the low anxiety knot in the bottom of your stomach that won’t go away, but also won’t let you know the reason for its existence. I have gotten those in the past and they suck. They tend to happen when I am feeling stretched really thin and just busy in a lot of small ways. Which from the sound of all the different things you are coordinating, might be where you are too. 🙂 Either way I hope things get better for you soon and I can’t wait to see you this weekend.
love you!

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