Feeling Caotic

18 05 2007

I want Mike to come home.  I want to be able to talk to him about something important to me.  I want stop feeling so anxious.  I want to stop feeling antsy.  I’m scared for how it’s going to be this summer.  It’s not a matter of not knowing if I’ll be able to manage the distance.  I know I can.  No, the question isn’t if, it’s how.  What ways am I going to cope?  How will I learn to be ok that I’m not always ok?  How will I stop the fears from taking over when the reminder of why this is all worth the risk is not present.  Mike’s great, but we don’t connect as well over e-mails, and several days with no contact takes its toll on my psyche.   hum.

And as a sidenote, I’ve been thinking about the fact that I write about my relationships alot on my blog and why that makes me uncomfortable.  Am I scared of what that says about me as a person?  What does that say about me as a person?  More over, does anyone really care.  I was reading the new blog of a college classmate and in his first entry he mentions “blahgs” and I wondered… would he see mine that way?




3 responses

18 05 2007
The Ace Of Spades

I just checked out your blog by surfing wordpress. I’m not 100% what’s going on but I have my own relationship issues (I don’t have a relationship and I think for me that’s an issue; LOL) but I will check later to see what this post is referring to exactly. (I at least have a pretty good idea for now.) To make my comment at least worthwhile to read my response is:

If people don’t like you for writing about how you truly feel, they’re insensitive assholes and really aren’t worth knowing. I’m slowly learning things about different types of people myself… however my comments are too long and really should appear as their own seperate post in my blog.. lol. Anyways I think I’m going to find reading what you write interesting so I’m gonna add ya to my blogroll if you don’t mind. Also if ya would, I’m in need of some advice myself so when ya have a minute (or ten because I apparently write a lot) check out my blog at http://www.blhuco.wordpress.com . Thank ya and I hope things work out for ya pretty lady.

23 05 2007

Found you.

23 05 2007

Ace: I checked out your blog, and hope to respond soon. You mention that you are associated with the military. I’d be interested in hearing more about that and what lead you to make that decision.

Matt: You did.

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