26 01 2007

Music: Cleveland by Rachel Ries

Last night two proposals were made! On Gray’s Anatomy 🙂 Ok, but seriously (I think it was last night) one of my friends that I worked with last summer at the Bluegill got engaged. I’m really excited for her. I remember talking to her about her boyfriend, and about Mike. How far our relationships have both come since then! It dawned on my recently that Mike and I have been dating almost as long as Jesse and I had been before we were engaged. Scary to think of it in those terms, because I wouldn’t be ready to be engaged to Mike at this point, and I think our relationship has gone better and has been healthier than mine with Jesse (I should hope so anyways). It probably has alot to do with me being a wiser, less impulsive person. Last night I was complaining to Abby about the fact that whenever I talk about the future and it involves Mike I always include the clause “if we’re still together”. Like somehow I have to reassure people that I don’t assume that we will be. That I don’t want people to think I’m making the same mistake twice. I even do it with my close friends who know better. Or like last night, Mike told me about his Senior Sem. class. They were split up into groups to talk about “what I’m thinking about doing after graduation”. And Mike mentioned that he might be planning a wedding. One of the guys was like “wow, I didn’t realize you guys were that serious”. And I couldn’t help but think “I hope they’re not thinking, ‘O, boy here she goes again'” I know people wouldn’t think that way, or if they did than they don’t really know me at all, so why should I care, but I do! And of course it comes back to that whole thing where we think people think/know about us more than they really do. Humans are so naturally egotistical. I’ve really been trying to let go of that tendency. Mike doesn’t seem to have it at all which I admire. I wish I didn’t care what other people thought so much. It certainly would simplify life.




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