30 09 2006

Music: When You Come Back Down by Nickel Creek
Last night I saw Nickel Creek in Souder concert hall. It was so amazing! We were front and almost center. We were actually slightly left of center, but Sara and Chris kept coming up to the front of the stage right where we were sitting. I love their sound so much. I loved watching Sara fiddle. I want to learn to play at least half as good as that. Charletta is going to work with me, and I think I’m also going to try to find a teach who will work with me in a more classical approach. Ummmm…. I want to play the violin. I haven’t been to many concerts in terms of big name bands, but that was amazing. I think it will go down as one of the experiences of my life. Maybe they’ll get back together some day and I’ll go see their reunion tour 🙂 A huge thankyou to Mike for the amazing tickets.
I saw John (Jesse’s dad) afterward. It was really nice to talk to him for a bit and hear how he’s doing, and to let him know that I’m doing well. He actually knows Mike because Mike’s been working at MMA in the same department for the past few years. John asked me if I had “connections” when I said I had been in the front row, and I mentioned Mike. It was a nice subtle way to let him know I’m moving on. At one point he asked me if I knew about Jesse and Suzi’s engagement. I told him about knowing before the engagement happened and how I had given my engagement ring back as a way of letting him know that I’m ok with it, that I hope they are happy. It was a good thing for me as well because I wanted that stupid ring out of my life, but couldn’t bring myself to sell it, and didn’t seem right about giving it back so much after the fact without seeming bitter still. When Jesse and I were engaged, he wouldn’t announce it at his church. He even stopped his mom from announcing it. I thought it was kind of strange, but Jesse can be weird about that kind of stuff sometimes, so I didn’t worry about it. Anyways, John brought that up last night and said that he did get up and announce his engagement to Suzi. He said that they seem to be really happy together. I’m glad. John said something really sweet last night. He said “we still like you”. How sweetly honest and down to earth.
Ok, to be fair and so that none of you out there start thinking that I’m a saint, I am glad for Jesse and Suzi, I DO hope they make each other really happy. BUT, there’s still a part of me that hurts. There’s a small part of me that thinks it’s really unfair that they get to be happy in this way when I’m still recovering from the whole thing. Granted, I’ve moved on myself, but shouldn’t I get to move on first? Shouldn’t I get to be whole again before they can move on completely? But there is all kinds of injustice in this world, and mine’s small beans compared to most of it. Besides, that’s what grace is for. And most of me wants to be gracious in this situation. That little devil can be pesky though 🙂




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