Saturday night

It’s 3:30 and I just spent the last hour and a half messing around on facebook, how lame am I. I got back from a dance party at Rubber about 2 hours ago. There are still dishes to be done from my dinner party last night. I made an amazing Thai curry. Yum. My life’s a bit of a mess right now. I’m tired of living at home. For several reasons, but the biggest of them all is that I don’t feel very much like it’s my home, except my room, so then I don’t take ownership with helping out around the house, and then I feel bad about that or my parents get upset with me. It’s a vicious cycle. I’m busy doing work, but also not getting some of the other things done that I need to, like these two classes I need to be doing. I think I need to set aside a specific time each day to work on them. First I need to sign up for the one. And then there’s the whole job search thing….. ick. But there are some really good things too, like new friends, a new job (which I’m really nervous about), in general being happier about life than I was during spring semester, and Mike. Which by the way have I mentioned how scary getting into a relationship again can be? Trusting myself, trusting him, not being too scared, not letting myself fall too fast, going with the flow, being careful…..!!!!! Ahhhhh! It’s enough to drive a girl to distraction. Love’s hard. So the question remains…. is it worth it? (anyone who really knows me knows the answer to that) Why am I still up?

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