Nearing the end

One final done. Two to go.
Curse the internet for being down yesterday. I really wanted to finish a couple of my papers. Couldn’t 😦

I talked to Paul today. If I get the two papers into him that I still need to do, I’ll pass the class. Good to know. Now for those papers….

It’s a struggle not feeling completely irresponsible and immature with how I’ve handled my classes this semester. I don’t know how to explain what it’s been like. I feel like every little thing I’ve needed to do for classes has been a battle. I burned out about a month into things, and ever since I have to fight myself to get anything done. My friends have been encouraging and assured me that I’m not a complete failure at life because of this semester.

Thank God it’s almost over! I… I don’t even know how to put into words how horrific this semester has been! I’m just tried in so many ways. Tired, tired, tired. Sometimes I just want to give up and not care at all and not be nice to people and not be a pleasant person and just walk around in my own little cloud of misery.

But I don’t let myself, and I’ll be done soon and then I can start rehabilitating myself. I’ll need lots of R&R when I finally get done. So the sooner I get done, the sooner I can begin my detox.

Counseling continues to go well, I think we’re going to start getting more focused, and that’s good. Sometimes I wonder if it’s really worth the money, but I think for now it is. I never did take the lexapro long enough for it to kick in. But I’m sort of glad (even though it wasn’t very medically sound to just stop without talking to my health care provider) because I don’t think I need it anymore or if I ever did, and I might have contributed recent improvements to the meds, and continued to take them. I think medication has it’s place, but I’m also glad that I’m able to not take them.

I keep expecting to hear that Lenora went into labor. She’s pretty sure she’ll be early, and she’s been having significant Braxton Hicks. Andre’ and Dancy are going to be here on Saturday 😀 Can’t wait to see them. Can’t wait to have the whole family together! Jenica has her first track meet today, and I’m missing it because I wasn’t able to get my papers done yesterday, and I wasn’t able to get my papers done because of the internet 😦 At least Matt wasn’t involved.

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