Coming home

Music: A new favorite song…. I don’t even know the proper name or who it’s by, but I call it “The Day I Wish for You”; thanks Luke.

Today Katie, Bec and I got up early and packed up the car and headed off at about 7:30 in the morning. It took pretty much exactly 12 hours to get home, and we really didn’t stop other than to get gas and change drivers. We each drove about 4 hours. We had Zim’s beagles from Athens, and cold pizza from the Mellow Mushroom that had been supper the night before, and chocolate covered cranberries from Earth Fare, so we were set as far as food went. I feel like I know Athens pretty well at this point. I was amazed at how well I remember the layout from two years ago. It was fun to reconnect with the town and see what had changed and what had stayed the same. Some highlights from the trip:

the sun
an amazing meal cooked with the girls all made from good organic/ non-mass produced foods from Earth Fare
just having time to relax
really good chai from a downtown coffee shop and bar while chatting with the girls
One of the most amazing meals I’ve ever had from Five and Ten
A surprisingly light and flavorful glass of German Riesling that I shared with Becca during this amazing meal
spending time with two beautiful amazing thoughtful women

As we were driving up to the apartments, the other two were looking to see if there were lights on in their apartment, and I was looking to see if there were lights on in a specific downstairs window. I was kind of hoping that there wasn’t, and then I’d go visit Luke and Will, but I couldn’t tell, so I didn’t go. I realized a couple minutes later that I was really tense suddenly. That lead me to realize that I had been able to relax in Athens not just because I didn’t have school or work, but because I was away from Jesse and things that made me thing about him. Not that I didn’t think about him, but there wasn’t any chance that I’d run into him, and not as many things that immediately connected with that whole thing. It’s sad when you realize that one of your favorite places, the place you consider home, has become a place fraught with anxiety. Some people might think that I should just let go. Well, my answer to that is…. it’s not that easy. I’m trying, and let me tell you, it’s not something you can will yourself to do. You just have to keep trying till it’s not something you have to try to do anymore. I’m still trying.

Advertisement