Heaviness of Heart

I found out today that my aunt died. She was my dad’s sister-in-law, and while I didn’t know her terribly well, I’m sad for my dad, and for her kids who I knew better, and remember fondly from my childhood and subsequent family reunions. I will be driving to Missouri with my dad on Sunday and coming back late on Monday. I’ve had a very heavy heart today. I am sad for some recent pain I caused, and am afraid that I have burned bridges I had no intent to burn. I’m sad that as humans we have such a capacity to hurt one another. I wish I was the type of person that always doing the kind thing came more naturally to. I’ve always admired those people. I think that might be one of the virtues at the top of my list. Mostly, I hope that I begin to find more peace, more grace, more gentleness of spirit. I miss inner peace, I haven’t felt it in quite a while. Goodnight dearest world.

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