Living at night

Today my mom asked me why I live my life at night and then sleep during the day. It’s something I’ve struggled with since middle school. I’m a night owl, no question there, but I do tend to enjoy life better when I’m going to bed earlier and getting up earlier. I wonder why that is. This morning I got up around 10 and went down to mow my sister’s lawn. It takes about 50 minutes to get there, and tragically my mom had failed to tell me that she didn’t have a key and that I was supposed to bring the one Lenora had given me. So we turned around and came back. Then I felt pretty deflated and read some and then took a nap. In the afternoon I cleaned my bathroom and worked a bit on the downstairs that still has some cleaning up to do. After a bit Jesse came over and set up the wireless internet access on my parents computer that I’m now using sitting in bed and chatting with Nathan and Derek on IM…… I love the internet. Went back to Jesse’s and just kind of relaxed together. He’s working long hard hours, and doesn’t have a whole lot of energy at the end of the day, so we’ve been doing that alot. And now back here for some interneting.
Abby’s recent blog about China made me think about my own feelings and how I too am concerned about not dealing with it well. I’m so amazingly excited! But I’m also terrified. I mean what if I can’t talk to my cooking family at all. I feel like the only Chinese I have a grasp on is hello and goodbye, and even that I don’t remember the tones for. I did so poorly in Chinese class…. 😦 But I’m trying to let the excitement be the dominate emotion. I’ll miss Jesse…..
I’ve been thinking some for the past little while about how I’m changing my name when I get married. I won’t be Stephanie H******** anymore…. I’ll be Stephanie S*************. I’ll be giving up a piece of my identity. I mean I’ve been Stephanie H******** all my life. There’s not much more basic about our identity than our names. No matter what I’ve been, done, where I’ve lived, etc. I’ve always been Stephanie H********. In less than a year I won’t be. I’ll have to remember to tell people the right name… learn a new signature. I’ve always thought that I’d change my name. I really didn’t mind the tradition, but now that it comes down to it, it seems like a much bigger deal to be changing my name. I wish there was a more equal way of doing it, but even the middle name thing doesn’t really work for us, because Jesse’s middle name is Jesse and John, his first name, is a family tradition that I wouldn’t want him to give up. Hyphenation doesn’t really work…. can you imagine me having to sign “Stephanie H********-S*************” no way! so what can Jesse do to some how tip the balance a little more equally. I mean….. I don’t know, I just feel that it would be nice if there was something that he was doing to token his changing of identity as we unite as well. Something saying “I’m hers just as much as she’s mine”. Tis a puzzlement (name that tune). In other news, our wedding bands are done and will be on their way to the the US by monday!!!! (with Thushan) I’m excited to see them. Thushan’s father is a jeweler and his company is making them for us. Well night all. Pleasant dreams.

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