You are currently browsing the monthly archive for January 2007.
Today Becca, Abby and I went to see “Dreamgirls” after a scrumptious lunch at Cozy Noodle. It was amazing (the movie and the lunch, but mostly the movie). I don’t cry during movies, I just don’t. I might tear up a little, but I don’t actually cry. I cried. Through the whole last 15 minutes. There’s something about music, especially good musical theater that just moves me. I can’t explain it, but I’m more likely to tear up over a good emotional song than a tear-jerker movie. Sometimes, I wish that I had the drive and the talent to make it on broadway. How cool would that be. To be able to move and inspire people through song. That would be amazing. There are times when I really miss singing to an audience. There’s an energy I get when I know that I’ve connected with people and they’ve taken something away from a performance, even if that’s just a moment of happiness. To see people’s faces light up because of you! Now that may be the hight of narcissism (I thought this wikipedia entry was interesting), but it’s amazing.
I went to a salsa dancing lesson last night! It was at this little boutique near us, and there weren’t alot of people there, but it was still a blast. I think I’ll go again. I miss dancing so much when I’m not doing it on a regular basis. I got to show the store owner’s son the basics. He’s a junior at a school in southern Cali, and it was SO refreshing to talk to someone my own age (or close enough) that I don’t know. We’re finding it hard to connect with people from our peer group, which is frustrating, but tomorrow we’re inviting a few people from church home for lunch. Night ya’ll.
Music: Cleveland by Rachel Ries
Last night two proposals were made! On Gray’s Anatomy 
Ok, but seriously (I think it was last night) one of my friends that I worked with last summer at the Bluegill got engaged. I’m really excited for her. I remember talking to her about her boyfriend, and about Mike. How far our relationships have both come since then! It dawned on my recently that Mike and I have been dating almost as long as Jesse and I had been before we were engaged. Scary to think of it in those terms, because I wouldn’t be ready to be engaged to Mike at this point, and I think our relationship has gone better and has been healthier than mine with Jesse (I should hope so anyways). It probably has alot to do with me being a wiser, less impulsive person. Last night I was complaining to Abby about the fact that whenever I talk about the future and it involves Mike I always include the clause “if we’re still together”. Like somehow I have to reassure people that I don’t assume that we will be. That I don’t want people to think I’m making the same mistake twice. I even do it with my close friends who know better. Or like last night, Mike told me about his Senior Sem. class. They were split up into groups to talk about “what I’m thinking about doing after graduation”. And Mike mentioned that he might be planning a wedding. One of the guys was like “wow, I didn’t realize you guys were that serious”. And I couldn’t help but think “I hope they’re not thinking, ‘O, boy here she goes again’” I know people wouldn’t think that way, or if they did than they don’t really know me at all, so why should I care, but I do! And of course it comes back to that whole thing where we think people think/know about us more than they really do. Humans are so naturally egotistical. I’ve really been trying to let go of that tendency. Mike doesn’t seem to have it at all which I admire. I wish I didn’t care what other people thought so much. It certainly would simplify life.
I’m sitting here listening to Buddy Greene sing a beautiful ballad called “Looking for Suzanne”, waiting for Liz to wake up, and thinking. There’s so much unknown in life. So much that could go wrong. So much you could kill yourself worrying about. And I think it might be in my blood to do that, but I really don’t want to. I want to learn to take life in stride. I’m tired of worrying. My mind is always in tomorrow, or next month or next year. Or more like two weeks from now, three months from now, and a year and a half from now (the common denominator here is Mike). Why is it so impossible for me to live in today. Why is the person I want to be and the life I want to live an all consuming passion that obliterates my ability to enjoy who I am and the life I live. There is so much to be joyful about right now. Will obsessing about my future help me achieve what I want? Maybe. Is it worth what I lose now. Nope. If I had a new years resolution “carpe diem” would be it.
So the Indy Colts are playing the Chicago Bears. Good thing I don’t care about football. Shhh… don’t let anyone around this city hear me say that!
The weekend came and went. Happiness ensued. Pan’s Labyrinth is pretty good. Definitely worth seeing, but waiting till it comes out on video would be ok. A bit gruesome with on camera shootings and torture and amputation. Sometimes it’s hard to let go when you’re making up for 2 weeks of cuddling. Sometimes I shake my head at myself, but as Abby said tonight, even if I had known in the beginning how hard it was going to be, I still would have chosen to try. It’s just the way I am. Ok, I’m tired. Night all.
Music: Dixie Chicks, If I fall you’re goin’ down with me
Mike’s coming tonight which I’m thrilled about. I’m going downtown to meet him right after work. Thank goodness for the express purple line! But here’s the thing… he can only stay till early Sunday morning. Two nights and a day. Not much time. That will make a grand total of 3.5 days I’ll be seeing Mike this month. I’m really bad at this long distance thing. Ok, actually I’m good at it in terms of the fact that I can deal with it, and the relationship is still healthy, and I do enjoy it. But I hate not seeing him so much! I don’t even pretend that it doesn’t completely suck. Next month is going to be even worse because he’s not going to be available on weekends till after the mainstage. Oh and I have a really painful open sore on my finger that won’t heal because I wash my hands all the time on the job. Woe is me! 
Mike got the part! I was thrill when I found out. And I know the girl who’s playing his love interest. She’s the little sister of one of my friends and I’ve gone to church with her since I came to Goshen, so I’m not really intimidated by that. I’m not sure I would have been anyway, but who knows. I’m going to have to get used to this aren’t I… Now seeing him kiss someone else would suck, but not too bad.
In other news, last night the apartment girls, Becca’s mom and I all went to the local Ethiopian restaurant and it was fantastic. I was worried that it would be too spicy, but it wasn’t at all, and it was all so flavorful. Yum. Then Jess’ friend Beth picked Jess, Abby and I up and we went down Clark street to a really sweet restaurant/bar/coffee shop where a folk concert was taking place. And you’d never believe who was performing and how I made the connection that I know her (sort of). Her name’s Rachel Ries and her family and my family were really good friends when we lived in Zaire. Now I didn’t really know them because I was a baby, but she was 3 when I was born and she said she remembered me, or more specifically, she remembers “the little H…….. baby”. And I put the connection together based solely on her last name and the fact that she has some sort of Mennonite connection because Abby saw her at Mennofolk. Ok, so that’s not that incredible, but I was really hesitant to ask her. What a small world we live in. She has a gorgeous voice. It reminds me of Fiona Apple’s. So that was fun, but we stayed up too late talking (about love and kids and sexual orientation) when we got home, so today I’m tired. But it’s another day with the girls. Right now Liz is sleeping and Rose is staring off into space falling asleep.
Chanicleer: Lost in the Stars
I hope Liz stays asleep for at least another 15 minutes. If she sleeps for at least an hour she wakes up well rested and happy.
I hope Mike gets one of the parts he wants in the mainstage. I’m been excited/nervous to hear about how auditions have gone all week.
I hope I can figure out this whole thing with my SS card.
Mike’s coming this weekend. Really looking forward to that. All my nieces and nephews (except Shemaya of course) sent me thankyou cards from Christmas. That was really sweet. That’s all for now.
Music: Pno. Con. No. 1: Allegro non troppe e molto maestoso, allegro con spirito from An Evening With Tchaikovsky
A mutual friend of our apartment came up to visit this weekend unexpectedly. It was wonderful to have her around and catch up. Friday night we had fondue and watched part of “Eat, Drink, Man, Woman” a foreign film set in Taiwan. The sound of the language coupled with some familiar scenes and an occasional word I understood made me miss China. China was an amazing experience for me. Amazing in how hard it was, but how simple it was as well. Having less control over your life can sometimes be a refreshing break. And there was just so much to learn! I feel like I’ve scratched the surface of Chinese culture, but what I did experience I found fascinating and exciting. There were so many things about China that were so different then my world here in the States. I kind of miss that. Every day was a learning experience. It was hard to be bored in China. I think that’s what attracts me to living overseas the most. That and the innate desire of an MK to recapture the joy and freedom of her youthful overseas experiences. I know that it won’t be the same, and I’ll be disappointed when it isn’t, but I still want to go. The question remains
when: probably when I’m in my 30s, but who knows
where: I’m thinking Jamaica, and there’s always central and southern Africa, but I think I could enjoy going back to China, or maybe India, or even Europe. The only places that don’t attract me at all are central and south America, Russia, and the rest of Eastern Europe.
what will I do: teach, childcare… I know some missionaries hire people to come take care of their kids.
Saturday I was going to go to the DMV and get stuff done for my car/ get an IL driver’s license, but since we can’t find my SS card, I was going to go to the SS office and get a new one instead and then go next week. Problem. The SS office is only open M-F, 9-4. How can I possibly go in when I work M-F 7:30-5:30? And I can’t send in my stuff because I have to have an official copy of my ids and I don’t have time to get those either. So unless someone else can go in for me, I’m screwed. So that was frustrating, but on a brighter and more relaxed note…
I got the massage that my employers gave me for Christmas. There’s a nice spa downtown Evanston that both Liz’s mom and Rose’s mom go to, and they got me an gift certificate for an hour massage. The spa is small, but they have a really nice atmosphere, and showers with soap, shampoo and conditioner so you can shower off afterward as well as cucumber water and tea in the waiting room. And the massage was great. My masseuse was nice and down to earth. I didn’t feel intimidated by her like I thought I might going to such a nice place. Saturday night we went to Walker Brothers for supper and then saw “Children of Men” Interesting movie. Didn’t love it, didn’t hate it. It’s worth seeing. Very dark though. And very politically charged. They took a risk and placed it in the very near future. I consider it a little too near. If they had added even just 5 years, then I would have accepted it more readily, but it’s hard to accept that all women are going to me infertile in 2 years. And then I finally got to talk to Mike! He’d been at ACTF, so we hadn’t talked all week. It was fantastic to hear his voice again, and to hear how excited he was about the upcoming mainstage and then his senior recital next year. This summer is going to be hard with him in Guatemala. Sigh.
Then yesterday I got to talk to my friend Abby from Oregon who I haven’t spoken to for a long time. It was so nice to connect with her again, and it sounds like she and her boyfriend might be getting pretty serious which is also exciting. A little weird though because they started dating a month after Mike and I. It’s different though when you’re both out of school and unattached. I’m excited for her.
I now own a 2001 honda civic. I’ll be paying on it for the better part of 3 years if I just pay the minimum, but I really like it, and it should be a good car that last a while.
I’m in love with the two little girls that I take care of. Liz is 6 months old, and Rose is almost 2 months younger. Two month makes such a difference. Rose still looks like an infant; I can’t even imagine what she’s going to look like as a toddler. She’s so little! Such a little peanut. Then there’s Lizzy who’s a chunk. She has the cutest chub cheeks, and she’s starting to look like a small toddler. She sits up on her own really well, and I don’t think it’s going to be too many more months before she’s walking. She already stands without alot of support. They are both so sweet. They have beautiful smiles and their giggles warm my heart. Liz is learning to be more independent. When I started working with the girls at the beginning of December, she had a hard time being put down, she hated to be left alone even for a minute, and she couldn’t really entertain herself. She’s so much better at all of those things. She’s even taking naps that are longer than 30 minutes at a time, and not freaking out every time she wakes up. Rose on the other hand has always been a very easy baby to take care of. The only time that she’s a handful is when she’s gassy. She falls asleep on her own (I have to bottle feed Liz to sleep), she can entertain herself for long period of time, she loves just looking around, and she’s generally just a happy baby.
It was wonderful to go home for the holidays. I got to see all of my immediate family and alot of my mom’s family. I also meet Mike’s mom’s family who seem fun and really nice, and Mike came along with me to my family stuff. I also got to see alot of friends and had a lovely time up in Michigan with a couple of friends for New Year’s Eve. One of them is getting married in September and she asked me to be one of her bride’s maids! I was so surprised. It’s such an honor because she’s such a lovely person. I went back to Goshen the first weekend of January, and all my siblings and their spouses (and Mike) and I went out for dinner and then watched “Little Miss Sunshine”. It was great spending time with them without parents or kids around. It just changes the dynamics so much. I wish my family was closer, but some things are just not meant to be.
I started up fiddle lessons again. I’m thinking about doing a wheel throwing class, but I’m not sure I want to afford it/ have the time for it. I still have two classes to finish up, and I’m still getting into the swing of my job. I work 50 hours a week, and it might not seem like a stressful job watching two babies, but if you’ve ever tried to take care of one, you know that it’s pretty intensive.
Things to look forward to:
A trip to Niagara Falls and NYC in May with Mike.
A trip to Oregon in August for Will’s wedding and then some time at the beach and in Portland with some of the girls.
Finally finishing my college degree.
Liz’s first steps
Rose sitting up on her own
