You are currently browsing the monthly archive for June, 2006.
Music: Porcelain by Moby
Today was good. The only bad part of it was being sick, but in alot of ways, my sickness enabled the goodness (I didn’t work at Hacienda like planned because who wants a server who sounds like a frog and can barely make herself heard if there’s background noise?) I had my internship in the morning, the only good thing of which was the fact that it was the last day. Then Mike called and asked if I’d be interested in meeting him somewhere for lunch. As if he has to ask! So then I whisked off to San Marcos where I had a delicious chicken quesadilla, charming company, and ran into Nancy N. and Barb (Jesse’s mom). I walked over to the Bluegill to pick up tips and my check ( 17.00! woo hoo) and saw Dan over at the brew so stopped by to say hi and pick up a iced latte. Then I headed home and called Abby’s on the way to see if she was done with her operation, and found out that I could be helpful by picking up a couple prescriptions. After a little bit at Abby’s I went and picked up Becca and a pint of ritters before heading back to Abby’s for a game of Tichu and some laughs at Abby’s lisp and her inability to feed herself because of the anesthesia in her mouth. Mike and I saw “Cars” after that. Cute movie. Then home for a bit before I got a call that Erini was in town, so she, Megan and I went to Constant Spring. Oh and before we went I helped Meg buy tickets to Seattle so she can visit her boyfriend. So cute!!!! I love that kind of stuff, and if I can be an enabler for it happening then all the better! All in all a fabulous day! Full of the people I love and happy thoughts. Topped off by an e-mail and a blog post by the lovely Katia 
Sick, sick, sick….. *mutter, mutter, mutter*
It’s the MIDDLE OF THE SUMMER! I shouldn’t be getting colds. (Stephanie mutters angry words under her breath as she gets ready for work)
Yesterday my internship was alot more interesting because I ran the class the whole day. But by the middle of the afternoon I was feeling tickles in my throat. By the time I went to bed my throat was really hurting, and I had trouble sleeping because of the pain. It’s the middle of summer! I’m not supposed to be getting sick! I had my first training session at Hacienda yesterday. It went pretty well, but I have a feeling that I’m not really going to feel a part of the crew in the short amount of time that I’m there. O, well. I’m nervous about having my own tables eventually, but it’s nice to only have 3 or 4 tables to be handling instead of the entire dining room like at the Bluegill.
I was right! Friday was a good day. I got a really cute haircut with red highlights. Work went fine and I was actually out of there by 8:15 because it was a really slow night. Low tips, but that was ok. Then I visited Abby for a while and spent the rest of the evening relaxing at home. I’m working on a blanket for Karis. Saturday I cleaned house, and Mary and Glenn invited me to have lunch with them. Then off to Syracuse for Carla’s bridal shower. She’s getting married next week! I went rollerblading for a while and stopped and visited Megan. The evening consisted of Settlers with Jonathan and Emily, I (heart) Huckabees, and some quality time with Mike 
. (we were hungry so we went to steak and shake. Thank goodness for 24/7 restaurants) Sunday consisted of church, a delicious meal with my small group, coffee with Mary Y.H., Over the Hedge and Red Lobster with Abby and Crystal, and games with Jeff B. Jonathan and Mike. Somewhere in there I got kids books from Karis’ and planned the lessons for today! It was a busy and enjoyable weekend overall. I didn’t get enough done though. I should have worked on one of my classes, and maybe e-mailed Meryl and Dan and Abby G. and…. erk, so much to do so little time.
Sounds: Chatter from a group of 5th graders.
We’re in the computer lab and the students are looking up cities in California to solve a word scramble. Today is going to be a better day. I can just feel it. I’m tired, but I get to work at that Bluegill tonight, and having not worked there for almost a week, I actually miss it. Maybe I’ll do something after that, but maybe I’ll just go to bed early. I need to work on my application to the school in Evanston. There’s a really cool program by google that the kids are looking at now that shows satellite feed from around the world. Yesterday I looked up Choma, Zambia and Chengdu, China. Chengdu came through pretty clear, but Choma was mostly just blur. I also looked up Victoria Falls, and the falls themselves were clear, but everything around it was blurry. Well, computer time is up. 
Have a good weekend everybody.
Music: Gracie by Ben Folds
This week has been a week of mood swings.
Ups: Going to Lux Cafe with Emily on Monday night. Getting to spend some alone time with Mike today. Seeing Abby for more than 2 seconds. Feeling like I can actually teach on Tuesday. Concert at the Brew tonight. Cleaning my room yesterday and generally getting a few things done this week so that I feel more in control of my life. Finding out that rent is going to be cheaper than anticipated next year.
Downs: Being tired all the time because I’m incapable of keeping a good sleep schedule. Feeling like a burden and a disappointment. Fear. Being broke because I have to pay my credit card bill next week. Feeling like I’m a terrible teacher yesterday and today. Not having a job for the fall.
I’m such an emotional person! Why? Why can’t I be more even-keeled like the people I admire. I can be really up and really down in a single day. I just want to be happy. I just want to be at peace. I just want to want what I have and what life gives me and not want more. I always seem to want more. More out of myself. More out of others.
So I continue to continue. Life is a multifaceted jungle of emotions and experiences and desires.
I wish I could perform like what I saw tonight. I wish I was actually GOOD at something instead of just ok at lots of things. I’m ok at singing, I’m ok at poetry, I’m ok at pottery, I’m ok at lots of things. I’m always on that edge of security about the artistic things I do. I just want to feel like something I do really touches someone.
It’s 3:30 and I just spent the last hour and a half messing around on facebook, how lame am I. I got back from a dance party at Rubber about 2 hours ago. There are still dishes to be done from my dinner party last night. I made an amazing Thai curry. Yum. My life’s a bit of a mess right now. I’m tired of living at home. For several reasons, but the biggest of them all is that I don’t feel very much like it’s my home, except my room, so then I don’t take ownership with helping out around the house, and then I feel bad about that or my parents get upset with me. It’s a vicious cycle. I’m busy doing work, but also not getting some of the other things done that I need to, like these two classes I need to be doing. I think I need to set aside a specific time each day to work on them. First I need to sign up for the one. And then there’s the whole job search thing….. ick. But there are some really good things too, like new friends, a new job (which I’m really nervous about), in general being happier about life than I was during spring semester, and Mike. Which by the way have I mentioned how scary getting into a relationship again can be? Trusting myself, trusting him, not being too scared, not letting myself fall too fast, going with the flow, being careful…..!!!!! Ahhhhh! It’s enough to drive a girl to distraction. Love’s hard. So the question remains…. is it worth it? (anyone who really knows me knows the answer to that) Why am I still up?
Patience, patience, patience. Kids can be so disrespectful and ornery. But I like working with them anyways. This internship is going to be fun I think. I really like my teacher. Today I got to read a story out loud to the class. Luckily I had read it yesterday while I was waiting for my teacher to come back from an errand, otherwise I would have gotten caught up on some names probably. It was about an “egyptian cinderella” and had several Egyptian names in it including some of the gods and pharoahs etc. I’ve always been fascinated by Egypt, and studied it pretty intently in 5th grade, so I know alot of those names already, but reading a book out loud is intimidating already let alone doing it cold. We’re having computer time, and the kids are looking up stuff on mummies. I just got back from making copies. My teacher is doing well at keeping me involved, but there’s not a whole lot to do really. I need to start thinking about what I’m going to do when I should be in charge of the class. Luckily the days are short and we have a good structure going already. Reading and writing till 10 then computer time for a half hour then math till 11. I think I’ll probably use a Chinese theme. Things are kind of thrown together here, but the kids seem to be learning some good skills. Anywho, right after this I go work a double at the Bluegill. It’s going to be a busy day!
Music: Such Great Heights by Postal Service
So today I made bread with Becca, and worked at the Bluegill, and had an interview at Hacienda. I got the job. I start training next tuesday and then work and my internship will become life. I’ll be working alot. Not sure this is what I want, but if I’m going to afford to help pay rent for August then it’s going to have to happen. Ick. It felt nice to see how much he wanted me to work for him. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hire me because I’d be leaving in a few months, but he did anyways because he thought I’d be an asset. So anywho, those of you in Goshen may not see as much of me anymore this summer (not that I’ve been seeing people a whole lot anyways).
Music: Cecilia Bartoli’s Parto, Parto Ma Tu, Ben Mio from Mozart’s La Clemenza Di Tito (I sang this piece once, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to sing)
Let’s see…. Sunday Becca had a BBQ and it was wonderful to see lots of friends, but sad to say goodbye to Katie 
Then I don’t really remember much about Monday except that frisbee was fun. Tuesday I worked training the new girl at lunch. Wednesday I took the kids swimming and had small group. Thursday I went down to Lenora’s and spent the night. Friday I cleaned house and worked and then went to a wine and cheese-esqe get together. I saw Alex. He just moved back from France last week. It was neat to talk to him. Then Saturday I worked in the evening again and afterward headed over to the coffee shop to see if Abby was there and low and behold Will, Nathan, David, and Jeff were all playing cards. So we hung out till closing time and then Abby and I came back to my place and I made a scrumptious omelet and we talked till about 1. I miss my girlfriends so much when I don’t see them! It was so nice to catch up with her. And to process some things I’ve been feeling about Mike and I.
So yesterday at work Mariah and I were setting up the back and she said “yes Senora” when I asked if she’d help me move a table, and I said “hehe, not quite, just Senorita”. Which made me think “but almost” and then it hit me. Today was the 10th! I looked at the clock and realized that I would probably be walking down the aisle just about then if things had gone as planned. That gave me quite a start. It kind of made me feel ill too because it kind of scared me how different my life could be right now so easily. So that was weird. Then I found out that the new girl was also engaged about the time I was and broke it off about a month after mine was ended because he was cheating on her. She’s also started dating again recently. It was so refreshing to talk to someone who really understood what it was like. It was interesting how she experienced alot of the same feelings and fears that I do.
