You are currently browsing the monthly archive for April, 2006.
So here’s the deal. Leave me a comment in this post and I will:
1. I’ll respond with something random I like about you.
2. I’ll tell you what rodent reminds me of you.
3. I’ll name something we should do together.
4. I’ll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
5. I’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I’ll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
7. I’ll ask you something that I’ve always wondered about you.
If I do this for you, please post this on your journal so you can do the same for other people.
Music: Window by Fiona Apple
I got this off Abby’s blog, so if it’s good enough for her, it’s good enough for me 
Instructions:
* Put your music player on shuffle.
* Press forward for each question.
* Use the song title as the answer to the question, even if it doesn’t make any sense.
So here goes…
1. How am I feeling today? “I need to be in love” by the Carpenters. Appropriate. I won’t lie about the fact that I’m always a happier person in a relationship. I’m currently a pretty happy person. Thanks Mike.
2. Will I get far in life? “Summer Wind” by Frank Sinatra… not sure what that means, but I could see it meaning that I’m going to enjoy life because I take it easy and enjoy the simple things… a stretch I know
3. How do my friends see me? “Man of Constant Sorrow” by Norman Blank…..how sad
4. Where will I get married? “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” from the Lion King… first thought “what the heck?”, second thought “Africa!”
5. What is my best friend? “Fallen” by Sarah McLachlan We all are.
6. What is the story of my life? “A part of that” from The Last Five Years I tend to be involved in alot of things.
7. What was high school like? “Macavity” from Cats ummmmmm……?
8. How can I get ahead in life? “Quattro Pezzi Sacri: Stabat Mater” from Verdi’s Messa de Requiem still not getting anything…. it might help if I understood Latin.
9. What is the best thing about me? “塔罗牌” by F.I.R.飛兒樂團 The first character can mean “tower”, the second I think is a name… but I don’t know for sure, the third can mean “sign”
10. What is today going to be like? “Healing Waters” by Michelle Tumes that sounds soothing and perfect
11. What is in store for this weekend? “Hello, Goodbye” by the Beatles… that would have been perfect for last weekend, but I guess I’ll see what’s in store for me.
12. What song describes my parents? “Who will save your soul” by Jewel I think they put me on track.
13. To describe my grandparents? “If you don’t know me by now” by Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes. But I want to get to know my grandma so much more before she’s gone! Guess I should get on that.
14. How is my life going? “Black and White” by Sarah McLachlan. It definitely feels a bit that way. Everything’s either really amazing or really shitty. There’s been alot of both.
15. What song will they play at my funeral? “More today than yesterday” by The Spiral Staircase. ok.
16. How does the world see me? “The sound of Music” from The Sound of Music. Alot of people know me for my my voice or because of my singing, so I guess that makes sense. Maybe this means I’m going to become famous as a singer!
17. Will I have a happy life? “S’Wonderful” by Gene Kelly (I think from “American in Paris”) Sweet!
18. What do my friends really think of me? “The Ego Song” by Ray Charles….Man my friends think I’m sad and stuck up… ick
19. Do people secretly lust after me? “Cinturita” by Beny More Will just told me that can mean ‘little belly” no comment.
20. How can I make myself happy? “害怕 Fear” by 孫燕姿 (Stephanie) The first character can mean “evil” the second “feared” So maybe “fear evil”…
21. What should I do with my life? “J’ai Deux Amours” by Josephine Baker “I have two lovers” Katie, Becca, Miriam? Did I get that right? I don’t think that’s what I should do with my life, but it sure would make it more exciting.
22. Will I ever have children? “River Lullaby” from The Prince of Egypt I’ll take that as a yes. I have to say that’s pretty incredible. I look forward to children some day. Holding Shemaya yesterday was such a wonderful experience.
23. What is some good advice for me? “O Ronco Da Cuica” by Joao Bosco If I knew what language it was I might be able to find out what it means. Ronco is a type of fish that makes a croaking sound. That’s all I know as of this point… I think the language is Portuguese.
24. How will I be remembered? “Take Me For Longing” by Alison Krauss. interesting.
25. What is my signature dancing song? “Fakin’ it” by Simon & Garfunkel…. how sad 
I think of myself as a pretty good dancer.
26. What is my current theme song? “Sarah Beth” by Rascal Flats…. I actually called the song “They go dancing” before I just asked Luke its real name… I like that title better.
27. What does everyone else think my current theme song is? “Si Do Mhaimeo I” by Anuna it means “the wealthy widow”
That was way too much work for something that should have been pretty simple…. Gosh darn me for liking international music so much!
Music: The Way You Make Me Feel by Michael Jackson
Where to begin! I’ve graduated. But not officially. I’m going to pass all my classes. I had a scare about one of them on Saturday night, and was freaking out internally about it all Sunday. I graduated on Sunday. I wasn’t feeling very excited about the actual cerimony, but then being there and seeing everyone, it felt good to be part of it all. It’s an achievement to finish college. Only 24 percent of the U.S. population gets a college education. The figure drops to 6 percent for a master’s. I think one of the best moments was when we got a standing ovation. It was totally unexpected, and it really made my heart melt to know that there were people out there who were proud of me. I’ve felt so insignificant academically this semester that this was truly meaningful. I didn’t tear up, but I did feel overwhelmed a bit by the sense of community and love. I think the best moment though might have been when we processed out, and the professors were standing on either side and cheering us on. It was a poinent moment because as freshmen they had done the same thing after the first convo. A nice way to bookend our college experience. A close second in best moments of grad was right as I was about to leave the gym in the procession, I saw my high school choir director and was so shocked that I jumped out of line and gave him a big hug. It was a wonderful surprise and I was able to talk to him for a bit later on. This also meant that I ended up processing out past the faculty with Jess Which was also a nice touch. So third best moment would have to be actually walking across stage. And then I had an open house with apartment 403 girls. Most of my extended family in the area came, and that was really cool. We cut out early so that mom, dad, Andre’ and Dancy could go see Lenora. Oh, that’s right, Andre’ and Dancy arrived late Saturday night. It was great to see them. It was sad that they could only really be here for a day, but they got to see the new little one, so that’s good. I wasn’t able to go down to Kendallville because I had too much to get done so that I could actually graduate, and that was one of the saddest things about my academic performance this semester. That my procrastination and inability to motivate myself had made it so that I couldn’t see my nephew on the first day of his life.
But I got both papers in on time that I need to do by noon the next day. All and all, Sunday was one of the most stressful days of my life. Between wondering how I’d pass the class I was worried about, and anxiousness about Lenora, and feeling pulled in so many directions emotionally. It was hard to stay sane and not lose it completely. I’m better now.
But I got to see him today! Shemaya was born around 6 on Sunday April 23rd. He weighed about 6 pounds 7 ounces, and has a full head of black, silky hair, beautiful dark skin, and dark brown eyes. He’s beautiful. Alot of times newborns are bald blotchy and kind of ugly. Not Shem. He’s already gorgeous. Mike and I drove down to the hospital and spent about an hour visiting with Lenora and Tobias and holding Shem. He feels so light! He’s lost a little weight which I guess is normal, and he sleeps all the time. Thank you God for a new life.
Last night I went to Olive Garden with Fallon and Crystal. It was amazing to have that girl time. I love those two. I really hope i stay in contact with them. And that’s about it for now. Classes in the morning. I’m actually sort of looking forward to it, but I could use another day or two to actually finish up with my spring semester before I start May term. Se La Vie. Wan An.
It’s 5:45 in the morning, and Lenora’s having her baby RIGHT NOW! She’s four centimeter’s along. Somehow I knew this was going to happen. I really really really don’t want to be sitting through a grad service while Lenora’s having her baby. Plus then I have to go host people at a party. But Andre’ and Dancy get to see the baby before they go home. Wheeee!
I just realized why…. sigh
I feel like crap and I don’t even know why.
So here’s that list I made for my councilor. It was a really interesting exercise.
The person I marry needs to be someone who:
is faithful emotionally and sexually
is committed to openness and communication
has values they own
is an appreciator of the arts
wants children
is willing to spend time overseas!
values and gives non-sexual touch freely
is committed to emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, and sexual health
desires to have an egalitarian relationship
is socially conscious
is able to lead independent life, example: has his own group of guy friends, has a stable sense of self
is sexually attractive (to me)
is financially responsible
has the desire to lead a sustainable/social/ecologically responsible lifestyle
ha a similar approach to relationships
desires to see “the other’s” point of view/ empathetic/ kind
Ok, technically I still have to do the bibliography, but my 8 page History of Global Poverty paper that was slowly killing me from the inside out is written. And there was great rejoicing.
Audrey Hepburn here I come.
Sigh.
One final done. Two to go.
Curse the internet for being down yesterday. I really wanted to finish a couple of my papers. Couldn’t
I talked to Paul today. If I get the two papers into him that I still need to do, I’ll pass the class. Good to know. Now for those papers….
It’s a struggle not feeling completely irresponsible and immature with how I’ve handled my classes this semester. I don’t know how to explain what it’s been like. I feel like every little thing I’ve needed to do for classes has been a battle. I burned out about a month into things, and ever since I have to fight myself to get anything done. My friends have been encouraging and assured me that I’m not a complete failure at life because of this semester.
Thank God it’s almost over! I… I don’t even know how to put into words how horrific this semester has been! I’m just tried in so many ways. Tired, tired, tired. Sometimes I just want to give up and not care at all and not be nice to people and not be a pleasant person and just walk around in my own little cloud of misery.
But I don’t let myself, and I’ll be done soon and then I can start rehabilitating myself. I’ll need lots of R&R when I finally get done. So the sooner I get done, the sooner I can begin my detox.
Counseling continues to go well, I think we’re going to start getting more focused, and that’s good. Sometimes I wonder if it’s really worth the money, but I think for now it is. I never did take the lexapro long enough for it to kick in. But I’m sort of glad (even though it wasn’t very medically sound to just stop without talking to my health care provider) because I don’t think I need it anymore or if I ever did, and I might have contributed recent improvements to the meds, and continued to take them. I think medication has it’s place, but I’m also glad that I’m able to not take them.
I keep expecting to hear that Lenora went into labor. She’s pretty sure she’ll be early, and she’s been having significant Braxton Hicks. Andre’ and Dancy are going to be here on Saturday 
Can’t wait to see them. Can’t wait to have the whole family together! Jenica has her first track meet today, and I’m missing it because I wasn’t able to get my papers done yesterday, and I wasn’t able to get my papers done because of the internet At least Matt wasn’t involved.
Music: Push by Sarah McLachlan
Today was a good day. I went to Assembly for church, and realized again why it is that I love my church so much. Then lunch with my family. So excited about the baby! I’m really amazed at Lenora. I can’t imagine working as a physician until a week or so before my due date. Then I worked some more on my paper, but didn’t get far before I couldn’t focus, so I started on a new paper. Then I went visiting at the college for a bit. At first no one was around (or they were sleeping) so I putzed around campus for a bit and then decided to head home, but called the apartment one last time to make sure they hadn’t just got back. And they were there! So up there to visit for a bit. Then off to home again, except that Glenn saw me from Miller 3 where he was hanging out with some people, and called my name out the window as I rode by, so I ran up there for a bit, and when they headed off to dinner, I started to head to my bike, and then Mike called, so I spent about an hour or so relaxing with him, and then FINALLY I actually went home And I’m sure you all care immensely 
I did some more on the paper-o-death before the 403 hymn sing. And now I’m home. Paper-o-death is calling my name
