You are currently browsing the monthly archive for August 2004.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
I need your guy’s opinion! I’m considering submitting a poem to Broadside (a small publication of poems and short stories Goshen College puts out every year). I’m just skeptical that I have anything worth submitting ……sooo…..I’m going to put up a few that I might consider and would love feedback and opinions. Your advice would be greatly greatly appreciated.
The Fallen Bird
They find the bird under a tree.
It’s nest lofting somewhere above, unreachable.
They encounter an entity rarely found,
a being so obviously more helpless than themselves
It sits idle, unsure, it’s underdeveloped wings still
folding them, along with it’s fear, inward like a shield
They are drawn to it, it’s vulnerability
The handle it, pet it, search for it’s mommy
concepts of love & caring unconsciously learned from their parents
drive them continually back to it despite other distractions
Their vigilant watch does not see
that it grows slowly weaker from their care
Masquerade
These are my masques,
Beautiful in royals, wines, and gold.
I love to show them to the world;
Preen as they smile and exclaim.
But they are built of lies and dust.
They are false and confining.
They rob me of my spirit.
But hiding behind them
Has been one of my longest lessons.
See this one with it’s apparent strength?
Touch it and it will crumble away.
See this one with it’s diamond studded glory?
It will tarnish with the slightest provocation.
But when I stand on this stage,
They are expected of me.
And accepted more readily than the truth.
Here they are, all of them,
I shall place them at your feet,
As I stand before you masqueless.
Night Song
I heard a bird sing.
It’s song was out of place
Winging through the dead of night.
I thought of my dreams,
Lost in this wasteland
Limping through the desolation.
Teach my dreams to fly, singing.
Rendered by their own charisma
As the day bird sings in the darkness.
My Fear
The house, the fence, the sky,
they all look the same color;
the slate gray of cynicism.
My face lies dead pan, staring.
When did my eyes turn cold?
Fear will turn me into a cynic,
fear of pain and unfulfilled dreams.
I want to end this poem with hope.
After all, I’m the eternal optimist.
But will I let myself?
Can I will this darkness to cease?
Trusting people is what I do,
but trust broken leads to doubt
and doubt begins the cycle once more.
Visions of Enchantment
A shaded glen, grass like emerald snow;
Colours that would ravage a waking eye.
Trees like statues, water roaring down silently.
Quietly, quietly flowers grow in ruby shades of blood.
The stars glisten as sunbeams slice down.
Slowly I enter, padding through searing beauty.
Nymph I am, or unfaithful Guenevere;
Some creature bound in fairydust or folklore,
Coming in search of my long forgotten destiny.
I dance so that I do not tremble.
Love waits for me in this place of daydream.
Daymares lurk in the shadows to whisper “star-crossed”.
But winged creatures tread the quaking ground.
A lion appears with fierce eyes and a gentle voice
I climb on his back and tumble back home.
Ok, so there are several…. I just don’t know what people would like (if anything!) I can’t be objective about them because they are all tied to strong memories and emotions, but that doesn’t mean I successfully conveyed that emotion to the reader. If you find yourself unable to post a comment on this site (I’ve heard there are some issues with that) than you can e-mail me at stephanieanne@gmail.com. I could use any help I can get.
P.S. if you don’t think any of them are print quality, I want to know that too!
Currently Playing Alison Krauss & Union Station – Live By Alison Krauss & Union Station
I can’t believe how busy I am already! It was like all my profs decided that the first day of classes would be a good time to give a butt load of work all at once. Plus working way too many hours for the coffee shop… this week I’m scheduled for 12 hours, and that doesn’t include the 3 hours I work for admissions. Oh, and did I mention that I’m also giving a tour tomorrow? Yeah…. I’m not very good at not overcommitting. And…… I just signed up to take a swing dance class at New World (a small community center for the arts in town that has strong ties to the college). So much for not over-involving myself. The excitement of my week?…..being able to communicate the idea of “exploring the commonality in humanity” in ASL…. let me tell you, I was really excited. Life isn’t very enjoyable when you’re tired all the time. And I’m discovering that unless a concerted effort is made, things of faith are not attended to on a regular basis. All in a day of the life of Stephanie!
Currently PlayingO Brother, Where Art Thou?
Sunday, August 29, 2004
Fondue was great! I had a good birthday. The hymn sing today was amazing (Assembly’s always are!) But now I’m tired and the room’s a mess (already) and I have a ton of homework and…….. But I’m back in the fast lane and loving it. But Jenn still hasn’t written my back even though I wrote her again….. I’m really concerned! Wow, I know you alls really wanted to know about that Ehhh…. it’s my blog, I can cry if I want to. Have a good week everyone.
Currently Playing Thundering Rainstorm, Vol. 1
Friday, August 27, 2004
I think I’m really going to like this job! We had maybe….6 or 7 customers from 9-11, which I don’t like for the coffee shop’s sake, but ment I got alot of reading done. Definitely a plus. And I like making coffee it’s fun. Especially blended iced mochas…ummm. And our chai recipe is one of the best I’ve ever tasted and that’s saying alot because I love chai and have tasted it in alot of places especially in Oregon where it’s really popular. I’m making Fondue tonight Yippee. I think it’s one of my favorite meals to make, it’s just really easy to screw up, which I’ve done my fair share of. I’m kind of getting sick of seeing torn up ground around campus, but that’s the price you pay for progress I guess. We really do have a beautiful campus. Have a great day every one
Currently Playing The Truth About Cats & Dogs: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
Thursday, August 26, 2004
Bad experience in the coffee shop tonight, has to do with a big headed guy with attitude not holding to the unspoken rules of employee conduct and my hot head…… But pie night with the TSC (Third Culture Students) club was nice and enjoyable. I feel really bad about what happened in the coffee shop….. dang it! I’ll explain later.
Currently Playing The Hits By Garth Brooks
Thursday, August 26, 2004
Well, Interpretation’s going to keep me really really busy! But I’m excited about it too. It’s just so nerve racking when you’re supposed to be interpreting something and you can’t understand one sign and it throws you completely off! Grrrr….
Currently Playing Love Scenes By Diana Krall
First day of work at the coffee shop tonight. Definitely have some bugs to work out, but nothing serious. It was pretty slow, but that was probably because it was 11-12. We didn’t get done cleaning up till 1. And then I was locked off my floor because I forgot to take my keys so I sat around waiting for security and read the Inferno. I read the chapter about the souls of the Carnal- basically those who’s sins were those of sexual passion. Very interesting chapter. I was kind of expecting more out of the book as far as talking about why certain things were sinful. I can’t say that I agree much with his theology. I can’t imagine people left out of Heaven just because they died before God sent Jesus. I really like the image of God as a woman, not that I think God has a gender (which is exactly the point) but if I had to chose one gender I like female. Probably partly because I’m one, but also because of the mothering instinct and because women are just such beautiful creatures. Ok, yes I’m being really random right now, but that’s because it’s 2:30 in the morning. Ugggg…. This is a big problem with me, staying up way too late. I just function better at night. Small group was good tonight. I really enjoy getting together with a group that’s so mixed as far as ages. We have a couple and a single woman who are in their 60’s, a couple in their early 50’s….maybe late 40’s, a single guy mid-30’s, and a couple late 20’s. Well, my conversation with Joel is wrapping up…..it’s now 2:40….so I think I’m going to end this. Good night, pleasant dreams, bien noche.
Currently Playing Mclachlin~ Dear God
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
The Hands of Believers
With hand on head we bless,
With hand on foot we serve.
With hands and arms around each other we comfort,
With hand on shoulder we pray to our living Savior.
With hand held open we offer peace to a broken world.
With hand in hand we join together as one body.
With hands lifted high we praise our God.
In this way, the blessings of Christ
Flow through our community.
~Stephanie Anne H********
Currently Playing Nickel Creek
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
The day definitely got better. The ASL get together went really well and I think I did a really good job grilling! Not something I’ve really done before. And it didn’t rain, even though it looked like it was going to the whole time and sprinkled a little bit once or twice. And then there was an icecream social at westlawn and I got my curtains and I didn’t have to work in the coffee shop after all, and I had lots of visitors in my room, and I got to play cards with Jess, and………… It’s been a good day
Currently Playing Cold Mountain
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
ASL get together tonight! I have so much to do to get ready for it, but I don’t feel like doing it quite yet. And then I’m working at 11-12:30! grrrr….. it’ll be fun, but I don’t think I’m going to like such late shifts. Classes start tomorrow. I’m not feeling ready yet! partly because I don’t have my books etc. Grrr………. I just tried to order my books online and went through the whole process before it let me know that I’m 2 days late to order for this semester! Wow, today’s just not my day.
Currently Playing The Sound of Music (1965 Film Soundtrack) By Richard Rodgers, Oscar Hammerstein II, Julie Andrews
Monday, August 23, 2004
I’m tired….. and I’m worried about stuff that I shouldn’t be worried about. Like the fact that Jenn hasn’t e-mailed me back (this is very strange), and that my ASL skills are going to be so behind that Myron’s going to kick me out of the program or something, and that the people I care about are not happy, or struggling with things or…….. mostly it’s just cause I’m tired. But I’m also very sensitive to slight vibrations in group and personal “carma”. My own is pretty low at this very moment, but life will improve when the sun rises tomorrow morning. I love how that happens….. a new day comes and you get to start off fresh.
May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night, and the road downhill all the way to your door.
Currently Playing The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Can I say right now that I’m really disappointed that it feels like this election is turning into another “lesser of to evils” choice? I really don’t want Bush in office, I don’t trust him and I hate the decisions he’s been making for our country. But I really don’t think I’m going to like Kerry all that much more. They seem to be cut from much too similar cloth! There’s something wrong with a country that has to chose between to men that they don’t really like either of. It’s just so frustrating. I wish I felt that either of the candidates were worth my time. I was mad when Dean dropped out of the running. Grrrrrrr….. It doesn’t seem like it’s going to change anytime soon! Sigh
Currently Playing Cafe De Paris: 25 Grandes Succes Francai
Libby’s back And I finally saw Luke today! I was getting worried. He was scheduled to move in on Wed because of track, but never showed up. I never did ask why he didn’t come….. The transfers on our floor seem cool. I’m looking forward to getting to know them. MYF (Mennonite Youth Fellowship- basically our version of youth group) lead worship today at Assembly and I was really impressed by what each of the MYFers who spoke had to say. It’s good to know that the generation that will directly follow us has such strength in their ranks. Today was great. Twice I had groups of people in my room hanging out! It felt soooo good. I love my room. I love being on campus and having people come visit me. Especially after last year. And my room really does accommodate quite a large group of people if needed That’s great, because I’m hoping my room becomes sort of a hang out type place. Of course I’ll have to be careful to make sure I’m using my time well and studying appropriate amounts I’m going in at 8 tomorrow to have an interview to be a big sister! I’m a little nervous about it, but I’m really looking forward to being part of the program.
In other news: I’m falling in love with a man named Jesse, and I haven’t been this happy for a long time, if ever. I’ve always known God knew what He was doing, but sometimes it was hard to see. Now I realize that it took all my other experiences to get me to the place where I’d be ready for this relationship and all the joys and challenges that go with it. I just couldn’t help but share my wonderment at that. God is good, of course that’s easy to say on the mountain tops of life. Now learning to say it in the dark places is the next step.
Currently Playing Classic Sinatra By Frank Sinatra
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Good morning
I got to go to Assembly this morning And next week is a hymn sing! Yippeee! Today I’m going to finally finish my room…………so I’m going to get off the computer and do it
Currently Playing Moulin Rouge
Today has been a good day It was so nice outside. I never got to my voice practicing, but I did practice my violin a bit. And I got to hear Jesse play trumpet. I worked the coffee bar for an hour tonight. And then I did a walmart run with Erini. We’ve been spending quite a bit of time together recently and I’ve enjoyed getting to know her better. Walmart was completely out of sticky tack! I’ve been getting ALOT of compliments on my room and it feel really good. I’m a little embarrased by it, but it’s just really nice to know that people appriciate the athetics of it. I thought about it quite a bit this summer I love setting up new spaces to live in. I love making places my own. The rest of Goshen moves in tomorrow! I can’t wait to have everyone back. Sigh….. classes start soon and now that it’s almost upon us I’m not feeling ready. I’m kind of wondering where Luke is, I should just call him, but I keep putting it off thinking he’ll show up on campus. I keep telling myself I’m going to go to bed earlier, but it’s just not happening.
Quote of the day: Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life. ~John Homer Miller
Goodnight everyone! May life be kind to you as you walk forward, toward the light.
Currently Playing Into the Woods (2002 Broadway Revival Cast) By Stephen Sondheim, Vanessa Williams, John McMartinsee
Top to Bottom: Jenn’s house, A hillside nearby that I went to to read/journal/think, an artistic shot , View from the porch.
I just got back from driving a new freshman from the airport. We had some interesting conversation on the way back. He’s a strong Bush supporter and supports the war in Iraq. I wish I knew more about the whole situation and the history of it. I wish that we knew if we were getting true information, or where we could get it. Anyone have any good suggestions? The only thing about the election is that Kerry really isn’t that much better than Bush! Or that’s what it feels like. I’m not sure Kerry wouldn’t have done the same thing Bush did. I don’t see Kerry as a strong candidate, he’s been wishy washy in the past. Today I’m going to finish my room and possibly work at home. I really need to practice my voice and violin! I’ve lost quite a bit of my range this summer…… Well, I think I’ll get to it. It’s a beautiful day today….nice and sunny and warm. The freshman are moving in. It feels like yesterday when I was in their shoes. How fast it’s all going. I don’t want it to go so fast. I like college. I like this stage of life. But I look forward to the next as well.
Joel- Thanks for the message! that was cool to get. I’m glad at least someone’s reading this. What’s your e-mail address?
Kari- What does subscribing do exactly? We still have to get together sometime.
Currently Playing Surfacing By Sarah McLachlan track: I Love You
Friday, August 20, 2004
The room’s almost done! It looks great. Maybe I’ll borrow Abby’s camera and take picture to post. The coffee bar’s going to be fun I think. And the free drinks are nice. We couldn’t open this weekend, and the soonest we can officially open is Tuesday night, that’s if we pass the health inspection. Things are far from done. But we’re doing some test runs tonight and tomorrow. As long as we don’t actually sell the drinks, we can have faculty/staff come for complimentary drinks. I hope the chair is good. The maple tree outside my window has already started to change colours. It’s going to red and orange, that will be pretty. Oh, and I’m using the internet in my room! Yippee! I’ve been talking to people about relationships more than usual recently……….probably due to my own recent developments It’s such an interesting thing. One of my friends and I talked about having relationships “just for fun” I really don’t understand that concept, I could never to that, not that I think it’s necessarily wrong per say (although risky) it’s just…………I could never do it. And a couple of my other friends are having interesting experiences when it comes to dating, so it’s intriguing to discuss. When we were talking last night Meryl said she had never seen me so happy before. …………I was up till 4 though, so I’m quite tired today……….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Currently Playing Verdi – Requiem By Giuseppe Verdi, Valery Gergiev, Andrea Bocelli, Renée Fleming, Kirov Theater Kirov Theater Chorus, Olga Borodina, Ildebrando D’Arcangelo
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Well, I don’t have access to the internet in my room till Friday But Abby’s letting me use hers. I have a couple small things at home still, but everything else is here in Miller 422 I can’t wait to be DONE. I want to feel settled, but that’s going to take a bit of time. I have so much junk! And I start training for the coffee shop tomorrow. I heard from Sara today (friend from Western, my roommate during my year out of school) It was great to hear from her! We haven’t been in contact for over 2 years, so that was neat. I guess I’ll start unpacking…..sigh. But I love being here
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Well, I’ve moved all the furniture already in my dorm room where I want it and have a few boxes on my bed, so the move has started I got to see more people tonight! Tara, Zeb, Meryl, Thushan, Nathan and Andrew. It’s wonderful to be around everyone again and everyone seems to have had a fairly good summer. I went rug shopping with my mom tonight and then had supper at Steak and Shake. I really enjoyed spending time with her and chatting. Not something I’ve had a chance to do very often in the past, so that was cool! Well, work tomorrow…..and I should have been in bed long ago, too bad I napped alot today and am not tired at all. I’m kind of interested in who’s reading this, so if you took a few seconds and signed my guest book that would be awesome Of course it’s dangerous to ask that, because no one could be reading it and then I’d know and ignorance can be bliss in certain circumstances.
Currently Playing Afterglow By Sarah Mclachlan track: push
Monday, August 16, 2004
So tired…… and I have a ton to do today. I have so much stuff! Where did it all come from? Ummm…. I just want to go back to bed…. See all you Goshenites in a week! Back to the grind.
Currently Playing Favourites By Ladysmith Black Mambazo
I’m insane to be writing this right now, but I had to get on the computer to add a couple things to my to do list and e-mail a happy Birthday to Katie….so, what the heck. I’m so tried that I feel like I’m back on one of the rides and free falling, literally, this is an actual sensation I’m experiencing. Cedar Point was great! I went on the Millennium Force…..and even though I was shaking afterward I enjoyed it. It just was a very pleasant day. Uggg… work tomorrow. Why’d I sign up for this again? Oh yeah, I have to earn back the money I spent on moving up my ticket Ok, that must be my favorite smiley of all time! Ummm… the freefalling sensation has started up again, so I think I’m going to go….Goodnight everyone I hope you are all dreaming beautiful things.
Saturday, August 14, 2004
Tonight was magnificent! I love being home, even if my parents can be frustrating sometimes, I’m starting to feel like we’re actually a family. Jesse came over and had dinner with my grandmother, my parents and I. Ummm….the was nice We have a ton of fresh vegetables from my mom’s garden. She’s got quite the green thumb, unfortunately I did not inherit said colourful digit. Off to the “Point” tomorrow. For non-midwesterns, that’s an amusement park in Ohio. And then I have a full week ahead of me….ummm…to be busy again! Life is beautiful. God is good. Happiness abounds. May it sit at your table as well and if it does not, come sit at mine
Currently Playing Surfacing By Sarah McLachlan
Saturday, August 14, 2004
There is a HUGE spider on my wall! It’s legs probably span about 2 inches….no joke. That may even be underestimating. I kind of hope it’s not the jumping kind…. still listening to Aida….should be packing
Well, I stayed up way to late last night (big surprise there) and had to get up early for an airport run, so I’m really tired, but today is another open day of doing what I want The airport run was eventful…. I couldn’t find the admission’s car. I wasn’t sure which one it was so I tried all of them. One would unlock, but not start….so, I took my car, but by that time I was already running late and I needed gas. Going 85 down the highway is not very smart, but it is fun It ended up fine because Ibrahem’s bus was late and we arrived about the same time. Ibrahem’s from Tanzania and I enjoyed talking to him on the way home. And then……
I GOT TO SEE ABBY!!!!!!
Yippee
Well, mom wants me to go to the store for her I need a nap…..
Currently Playing Aida (2000 Original Broadway Cast) By Elton John, Tim Rice
Friday, August 13, 2004
I’m home!!!!!!!! It felt so nice to wake up in my bed this morning. I never thought I would feel this attached to one place, well, at least not untill I created my own home. It’s a fairly new sensation…I like it Today I’m going to go through all my earthy possessions I’ve done this countless times, pretty much with each move……sooo….alot of time! hehe I kind of like it. It always pulls up such good memories and I’m able to get rid of unneeded items which tends to simplify life slightly. I think I would be a packrat if I hadn’t moved so much. Since I graduated from High School I’ve moved 8 times…..6 if you don’t count this summer, which I’m not sure I should or not.
Currently Playing This Side By Nickel Creek
Well, today I flew from Seattle to Chicago, and now I’m HOME! I loved this summer, but it feels so good to be back in my own room. Although it doesn’t look like my room anymore thanks to mom…. The flight wasn’t too bad, I’m pretty used to flying by now, but I hate getting the middle seat But the reward at the end of the trip was well worth the wait
Currently Playing: Anuna By Anuna
With me, life goes by in vivid strokes of brilliant hues. O, yes, I have boring day, but then I just make them shine with imaginings. But the boring days are few and far between. I do alot and always have….and probably always will. But life just isn’t interesting without lots of doings and beings and long talks with dear friends.
And now because I’ve become such an internet junkie and because my friends are spreading out to the far corners of the planet I present me….sometimes interesting (sometimes not)….but always undiluted
Currently Reading: The Inferno By Dante Alighieri, John Ciardi, Dante Alighieri
